Sunday, 20 January 2013

California Dreaming…

  ‘…stay golden’…reads the gospel according to Holden Caulfield.  In the course of our lives, we are afforded many an opportunity to do this very thing. For me, this was my recent soiree to the states of California and New York City. A dream whose eventuality was in question at more than one point in the lead up. I often find myself telling my friends that the fears we have in life are always bigger inside our head. And if we look behind us, it is possible to see the rewards that do come from stepping up to the plate.
Whatever we do in life and who we choose to do it with holds both power and possibility. Michael Patrick King, whose words for ‘Sex and the City’ continues to bring awareness of this to many. Not only does he write in a manner that is both poetic and at times prophetic; but it also, perhaps more importantly, makes us smile. As I write these words, I am reminded of the Zen saying of ‘jump and the net will appear’.  As Carrie took to her trapeze and jumped, the net did indeed appear. And so mine did at many a point when I was overseas.
The conundrum can then be re adjusting to life back home. How do you translate the wow into the now? By choosing more cliff jumps, so to speak.  I am being inspired by the pages of Jack Kerouac’s ‘On the Road’ at the moment. He simply put pen to paper and wrote from his heart, without giving a hulabaloo for what his audience may or may not think. For it really doesn’t matter. Our dreams are for us to live out. He writes about the challenges of struggling to have enough bread to get by as he travels throughout America in the fifties. But apart from his lyrical beauty, his heartfelt determination leaps off the page. My audience will think many things and my challenge is to keep writing. The reason I’m also inspired by him lies in his style of writing…stream of consciousness. Rather than purchasing a neat edited copy of his work, I opted for the original scroll. Raw. That’s how at times I feel, as if the ground beneath me is a tightrope that could fall away. But maybe that’s what working with your edge means, embracing a courageous heart.
It’s no mistake really that life has led me to teaching in many arenas. For the ultimate thankyou to a teacher of ours is to follow in their footsteps. We are shown the way by our forefathers.  Judith Hanson Laseter has entrusted me with the gift that is restorative yoga, which I feel really honoured to receive. Along with asana, she passed on many a word of wisdom in terms of teaching practice. The one that stood out to me was thanking the teachers we are given in life. As she enters her class, she offers her practice up as an act of gratitude. And there will be times when I feel I will let her down or not be good enough. I am feeling the fear and doing it anyway, as I have been given an unshakeable gift whose depth continues to astound me. And if we remain true to ourselves we will never let down our best teacher - ourselves.

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